Alice Miller in a Nutshell:
Discipline for Young Children - Discipline and Punishment: What is the Difference? ID Authors as Published Valya Telep, Former Extension Specialist, Child Development, Virginia State University Effective discipline helps children learn to control their behavior so that they act according to their ideas of what is right and wrong, not because they fear punishment.
For example, they are honest because they think it is wrong to be dishonest, not because they are afraid of getting caught. There are basically four kinds of punishment physical punishment - slapping, spanking, switching, paddling, and using a belt or hair brush.
The other two, withholding rewards and giving penalties, can be used either as effective discipline methods or as punishment - depending on how parents administer them.
It is important to look at the way parents administer physical punishments. A swat on the bottom is a mild physical punishment. While it may do no permanent physical harm, it does not help the child develop a conscience.
Instead, it teaches him that physical violence is an acceptable way of dealing with problems. Parents should avoid physical punishment. If they find themselves using it, then something is wrong and their method of discipline is not working. More effective methods are needed.
Harsh physical punishment and verbal abuse can never be justified as ways to discipline children. Parents usually spank when they are angry; a parent may not realize how hard he is striking the child. First, it makes the child hate himself and others. Physical punishment makes the child think that there must be something awfully wrong with him to be treated so badly.
If children think they are "bad," then they will act "bad. The child who has been treated harshly has no reason to be good. Or he may be good just to keep from being punished and not learn to be good because he thinks it is the right thing to do.
Children who have been spanked feel that they have paid for their misbehavior and are free to misbehave again. In other words, spanking frees the child from feelings of remorse which are needed to prevent future misbehavior. When parents use physical punishment, children are more likely to use violent acts to settle their conflicts with others.
Another disadvantage of using physical punishment is that parents have to find other discipline methods when the child becomes as tall and as strong as the parent!
Why not start using effective discipline methods when the child is young? Where reward and punishment focus on the child, encouragement and reality discipline target the act.
Reward and punishment teaches the child to be "good" as long as we are looking. When rewards are our chief way of motivating children we run the risk of creating "carrot seekers": Instead of being self-motivated by a desire to cooperate or help other family members, we have taught the child to look to us for his source of motivation.
Why do Parents Spank? Parents who spank their children rather than using other discipline methods usually say: They are mad at their husband or wife and take it out on the child.
It relieves their feelings of frustration.
It is easier, quicker, and requires less thinking than other discipline methods. Some parents spank because they place a high value on obedience.
Their whole aim is for the child to "mind," to do what he is told without question. There are times when a child needs to obey instantly, such as when he starts to run out in the street without looking.
The question of spanking is an emotional issue which parents feel very strongly about.
They can be divided into one of three groups. Perhaps parents who spank frequently should ask themselves:Comment: This item shows signs of wear from consistent use, but it remains in good condition and works perfectly.
All pages and cover are intact, but may have aesthetic issues such as small tears, bends, scratches, and scuffs. Spine may also show signs of wear. In the final decade of the 19th century, mysterious widow, Hester Appleyard, arrives in Australia, haunted by a secret past. Here, in the new world, she establishes a successful school for young ladies.
The more parents use effective discipline methods, the less children need punishment. 3. There is no excuse for using physical or verbal punishment to discipline a child. Schools & Physical Punishment. Physical punishment is part of our puritan heritage. Even the most kind-hearted of people, when influenced by this dogmatic set of beliefs, have been known to say something like the following: "Kids today are mollycoddled.
This resource is designed to inform service providers and practitioners about corporal punishment research and legislation.
It outlines recent research literature (from to ) and discusses the use and effects of corporal punishment on children. Currently no state has a law that explicitly bans corporal punishment in the home. In fact, most state laws have specific language in their statutes on abuse, assault, battery, or domestic violence that make exceptions for spanking by a caregiver.